Today Dreamy and I walked the lake as we often do. Dreamy loves this walk. He stops and takes in the scents of other dogs and leaves his own. He is happy, and I enjoy his happiness. This focus drew me into more rested state. As I focussed on walking and took in the beauty of nature, I was able to let my thoughts come and go rather than dwelling on them.
I need to withdraw like this regularly. I am a very sensitive person and feel deeply and tend to live inside myself. Because of this I become stressed easily.
Lately my struggle has been with the attention my book (and thus me) has been receiving. I like to do my best and want respect for what I do but attention is another thing altogether. Perhaps it is all the negative attention of my past, or perhaps I am still the shy introvert of my childhood. Despite working hard to overcome the shyness and low esteem they still lurk in the background, revealing themselves in times like this.
In the end I realised that I should accept the attention, and let it trigger growth. This is another step in my journey out of obesity. The body fat may be gone, and I have done more than I expected in my life, but my mind is still catching up.
I am ever so grateful for the admiration and respect about my journey and the book. I have experienced such a lot of acceptance and this has been truly healing. Your love means more than I can express.
In love, Jenny