Loneliness vs Being Alone


When I left home, I lived without the support of a close loving family. This time was unbearable for me. Now I have lived alone for over thirty years and find it enjoyable. There have been times when the loneliness has overcome me again. But I like to think I have made peace with it now.


Over the years I have learned some things. Being alone forced me to face myself, both good and bad. I have also found ways to cope. Even if you are not living alone, I hope some of these ideas are also helpful for you.


Make peace with yourself.

In my early days I carried with me a constant monologue of criticism about others and myself. At times, this still rears its head. Living with someone who is critical of your every move can be soul destroying. Working through the reasons behind this brought me relief. I learned who I was, my likes and dislikes. I understood why I reacted to situations differently to others. And I healed.


Let your friends become family.

I have close bonds with several people. These are my “go-to” friends who I visit when something goes wrong, or help is needed. Some friends I visit once a week to share a meal. I walk with others.


Make deep and close friendships.

For me, the depth of my friendships is not only satisfying, but also assuring. I know that we have invested in each other, so we are less likely to end the friendship. It’s good to know that someone has your back.


Adopt a pet and treat them as family.

Connection with a living being keeps loneliness at bay. Loving Dreamy and tending to him has brought with it an entire gamut of good feelings. He wants to be with me, and I can share my life with him. We both enjoy walking and I enjoy loving him. Dreamy is my main man, but also have love birds, who are called “the Tweedles” and goldfish.


Make where you live your home. Be creative in your space.

Gardening, cooking, and cleaning are some of the ways I create my space. Making my house homely has given it a warmth which I can enjoy by myself and share with others.


Give to others by sharing your creations.

One of my friends jokingly says that when I cook “I feed the five thousand.” Sharing love in this way has brought me wholeness. Life can seem purposeless when lived for ourselves alone.


You are gift to share with others.

I learned I had something good to give and gave of myself. This was a powerful way for me to find healing in my loneliness.


Above is a picture of my space.


In love, Jenny

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